


Once Upon A Post-Purgatory Prayer

by sandean_cas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Apologizing Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Fight, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel is Not Oblivious (Supernatural), Castiel is Not Okay (Supernatural), Castiel is So Done (Supernatural), Castiel is So Done with Dean Winchester, Castiel is a Winchester (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester in Purgatory, Chuck Shurley is God, Coda, Crying Dean Winchester, De-Aged Castiel (Supernatural), De-Aged Sam Winchester, Dead Mary Winchester, Dean Winchester Prays to Castiel, Dean Winchester Says "I Love You", Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester is Not Oblivious, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Episode: s15e09 The Trap, Eye Sex, Feels, Fix-It, Guilty Castiel (Supernatural), Guilty Dean Winchester, Humor, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Praying Dean Winchester, Purgatory, Quote: Angels are watching over you. (Supernatural), Quote: Family Don't End With Blood (Supernatural), Quote: He's in love with humanity (Supernatural), Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Spoilers, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Unrequited Love, Whump, definitely not, i prayed to you every night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:48:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22218817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandean_cas/pseuds/sandean_cas
Summary: He's leaving again and there's only one thing Dean can do:Cass.” Dean breathes a heavy sigh. “Hope you’ve got your ears on.”Dean sees him freeze, one hand lingering on the edge of the table. After Purgatory… After Purgatory things were bad. In Purgatory, things were bad.It was tumultuous. It brought up all the emotions that Dean doesn’t want associated with the angel right now. Like the need to kill his way through monster heaven just to find an angel who never wanted to be found.Cass is right. He can’t talk to him; can’t look him in the eye.But Dean can pray… not that he’s any good at that either.ORThe praying scene... except Cass is two feet away.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	Once Upon A Post-Purgatory Prayer

He's leaving again and there's only one thing Dean can do:

“Cass.” Dean breathes a heavy sigh. “Hope you’ve got your ears on.”

Dean sees him freeze, one hand lingering on the edge of the table. After Purgatory… After Purgatory things were bad. _In_ Purgatory, things were bad.

It was tumultuous. It brought up all the emotions that Dean doesn’t want associated with the angel right now. Like the need to kill his way through monster heaven just to find an angel who never wanted to be found.

Cass is right. He can’t talk to him; can’t look him in the eye.

But Dean can pray… sometimes just praying to Cass is the only thing that ever feels right.

“You don’t know what I’ve been through.” He starts. “And I don’t know what you’ve been through.” He shuts his eyes, for the first time in his life, wanting to believe that they are connecting on some deeper level.

“And that’s because we let too much come between u-s.” His voice cracks. “You know how things were with me and Mom. Most days we’d be fighting over… something, but that didn’t matter because she’s my mother. The woman who died when I was four but who miraculously came back to life in time for me to get to know her and watch her die again.” Dean’s eyes fly open, as a fire ranges behind them. Their house burning to the ground, Sammy being thrust into his hands.

Cass’ back is still turned, but Dean can tell that’s he’s listening. “The first time she died, I hunted the thing that killed her for more than twenty years; killed everything that helped it without a second thought. That’s what I was trained to do.” Dean knows his voice sounds bitter. But Cass is still here… still listening. So that must mean he still cares, right? “So- so I had no idea how to handle things the second time around… when the thing that killed her – killed her – was my own son.”

Fisting his hands together, Dean swallows his emotions once more. “And you. You just as good as helped him!” he snarls. “But, of course, I couldn’t kill you. Not you. I couldn’t even kill him when it all came down to it. And I – I was torn Cass.” Cass moves his hand up to cover his mouth. Dean is almost happy; if he’s interrupted now, it’s more than likely this stuff will never come to head again.

“I was so torn.” He whimpers. “So I treated you like shit. As punishment. And I know exactly how messed up that it. But I didn’t care.”

Dean stops, his breathing ragged. He presses a hand to his face, wanting to shove his tears back into his body. “I-” he breaks off, a sob catching the rest of the sentence in his throat.

“None of that shit – none of it.” Dean breathes. “Stopped me from feeling this way.”

Silence fills the space between them. Silence only punctuated by the sound of Dean blubbering on his sobs, trying to turn them into words.

“Dean.” Cass says abruptly, his own voice thick with emotion. “I’m going to turn around.”

“No.” Dean blurts. He can’t do this. His heart is already racing. He can’t do this if Cass is _staring_ at him with this piercing, searching gaze.

“I love you.” Dean says. “And I hate how things are right now. But – but it feels like you don’t care. About what you do or how it affects us anymore.”

Dean squeezes his eyes shut, trying to block the weight of that confession out. When he opens them, Cass is staring at him, his mouth slack.

“You – you love me?” he whispers.

Dean gulps and nods.

“I love you too Dean.” Arms wrap around him, pressing him into Cass’ chest. “And of course I care. All I ever think about it saving you. I need you Dean. I can’t live in this world without you.”

“And I can’t live in a world where you two are this sappy.” Dean’s entire body shudders as the figure comes into view.

Chuck.

And Sam.

“I’m sick of this.” He mutters, gesturing to the walls of the bunker and back to them. “It’s so… plain. I’m hitting the factory reset button.”

Chuck snaps his fingers.

Dean grasps at the empty space next to him while Cass disappears. He jumps forward trying to grab a hold of Sam, but smoke is all that remains.

He’s alone.

“Why?” he cries. Why not take me too?

“I … like you Dean.” And with a wink Chuck disappears.

Dean curses, kicking the railing and toppling the book shelf over. Sam would never use it again.

He screams and it echoes back to him.

Wait.

Crying.

Something is crying. His eyes dart to the map table, on it, lay two bundles, swaddled in cloth. Children…

One with blonde hair and one with black.


End file.
